SOAPSCUM PRESENTS

2010-05-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

So Scott got a great interview in for Soap Scum.
Yay for us, we are coming to a close this season only 4 more shows to go. It's been a rip roar of a 4th season...lots of guests, lots of laughs, and even a few tears. Anyways check out The Crown Royals before the end of may.

Chapter 7 of The Crown Royals as I remember it

2010-03-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

Sidmund Cookiewhif, distant cousin to the Royal family - Matt Alden
For those if you who where unfortunate enough to miss the last show, we had a surprise guest from Die-Nasty which is the longest running live improvised Soap anywhere...Mr. Matt Alden. It's was one of the best shows of the season and we all had a blast.

This is a Cookiewhif sandwich...mmmm cookies

Admiral Shirley And High Chancellor of Whatchamacal commit a little murder

Doctor Charming and Shirley pondering the perfect ball...Take that however you want

honestly I can't even remember what went on, I just love the picture...they look so peaceful.

Guests are lined up and we are raring to go, so make sure too check out the remaining shows.

April 12Th, and April 26Th are the next two shows, which is fallowed by every Monday in May!

Scum One, Scum all!!

2010-03-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

Scummers won't want to miss the next fancy chapter of pant-splitting laughter, as The Crown Royals welcome a guest list fit for a king! Mr. Geoff Hughes, whose incomparable reputation precedes him, Ms. Hilary(ous) Klassen of past fantabulous episodes, Mr. Tim Cranwill as Guest Narrator and, Mr. Matt Alden, writer of TV's 'Caution: May Contain Nuts', and cast member of Edmonton's legendary live soap 'Die-Nasty!' This Monday, 8:00 at the Park Theatre. A measly $5, and you are guaranteed to have a freakin' ball. Literally. And who doesn't like balls? (rhetorical)
New Scummers welcome!

Thank you everyone

2010-03-27T17:35:00.000-07:00

So once again the amazing production team behind Soap Scum Presents took all the scraps we had and turned them into our amazing set. Here's a look at what Jamie, Beth, and Gillian all did for us...it's only a few of the many but I had to show some of them.

This is Jam he is my Brother/ Graphic designer, his wife Beth/graphic designer is behind the camera snapping this shot to produce a picture of the King. So they began with a picture.

Then Jamie sketched it out so Beth could paint it.

and then a little bit of Magic...

The eyes actually come out so we can spy on people.
Thanks Jamie and Beth Posters, hand bills, business cards, Logo's and Horses on sticks! You two are amazing.

Dad for your beautiful Mason Royal.

Mom as usual costumes and any other project we throw at you.

And of course Gillian...
Hey Gillian think you can build us a fireplace out of our old garage Styrofoam and one falling apart flat?

This is what we got.

to Darcy Johnson for lights
Jessica Ross for Sounds and sounds and more sound and lights...and funny giggles.

Season 4 Schedule - The Crown Royals

2010-02-24T12:02:00.000-08:00

Soap Scum Presents… it’s show Schedule for 2010, The Crown Royals!

March 1st, 2010 – NO SHOW

March 8th, 2010 – SHOW

March 15th, 2010 – NO SHOW

March 22nd, 2010 – NO SHOW

March 29th, 2010 – SHOW

April 5th, 2010 – NO SHOW

April 12th, 2010 – SHOW

April 19th, 2010 – NO SHOW

April 26th, 2010 – SHOW

May 3rd, 2010 – SHOW

May 10th, 2010 – SHOW

May 17th, 2010 – SHOW

May 24th, 2010 – SHOW

May 31st, 2010 - SHOW

We get to start the Festival...Yay us!!!

2010-02-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

The cast of 'The crown Royals' Every Monday at 8pm, The Park Theatre
It's just fun and hilarity on a Monday...how do you like to start your week?

I hope to beg my way into the 'Jam' next year, but for now I am happy and grateful to be part of the Festival 3 years in a row now. Please come out and support all of the funny this town has to offer.

By Royal's command

2010-02-09T15:06:00.002-08:00

The Third Chapter of The Crown Royals, was truly a smashing good time.
His Royal High Chancellor of Whatchamacal (Geoff Hughes) paid a surprise visit to the kingdom of Evernott, with Arm candy in tow Fritzy Spritzer (Hilary Klassen).

High Chancellor Ballz Lichen of Whatchamacal - Goeff Hughes

Her Royal Heiress Of The Shoemaker Lineage Fritzy Spritzer - Hilary Klassen

Thank you to all of you Scummers who continue to come out to our shows every Monday. Keep on coming and bring your friends. This week marks another chapter of The Crown Royals and it is also the official opening of Winnipeg Improv Festival 2010. Geoff and Hilary will both be back and maybe a few more surprise guests.

Pictures courtesy of James Gillespie

First Guest of the season

2010-02-04T13:17:00.000-08:00

Kevin Pownall - Stable boy/Illegitimate son of The King
Glenn Fiddich

Kevin Pownall was our first guest of the season. We had a great time throwing him all over the stage. He is truly a good sport and a great guest.
We will be seeing him later again in the season, I mean come on he's the illegitimate son to the Great King of Evernott. Wait, weren't he and Lemon making out??

Don't forget we are kicking off the Winnipeg 'IF' - improv festival
here is a link for all the info and goings on!
http://improvfestival.blogspot.com/2010/01/winnipeg-if-improv-festival-2010.html

Meet the Scum of 'The Crown Royals'

2010-02-04T12:39:00.001-08:00

Peter Nadolny - Admiral and ...1st Viscount - Shirley A. Blackbush, Full time protector of the crown, it's people and lands

Yanin Gillespie - Princess Lemon Verbena Royal, Heiress to the thrown of Everknott

Chantel Marostica – Millie G. Draft , Nursemaid to The royal Princess Lemon Verbena

Scott Cranwill - Dr. Charming Woodcock, Physician to the Royal family and those who reside in the castle.

Davide Montebruno - Wachamical Ambassador to the Court of Everknott, The Baron Von Pabst, Balz Gyula the Bald, Feldzeugmeister of the First Corps.

Pictures by James Gillespie

Season 4 Opener of The Crown Royals

2010-01-19T15:12:00.000-08:00

We have finished the Video intro to the show. Enjoy it, or even better come and enjoy it on the big screen at The Park Theatre ever Monday night.
Remember to check out the Park Theatre Event Calender (http://www.parktheatervideo.com) for all Soap Scum Performances, as well as all the other cool happenings down at The Park Theatre.
I know The Gong Show will be making a comeback in April.
Next week we will be welcoming a wonderful Winnipeg talent to the Kingdom of Evernott...stay tuned in for more info on who it will be.

Cast photo of the Crown Royals season 4

2010-01-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

Photo by James Gillespie -
The Crown Royals every Monday at The Park Theatre.

We opened to a full house last night, it was wonderful. I laughed so hard I almost split my costume.
Thanks to all who gave so generously of there time, talents, and donations to the set. Soap Scum Presents could not have pulled it off with out you.

Season 4

2009-12-29T19:20:00.000-08:00

The Crown Royals

King Royal of Everknott has fallen gravely ill, and now the
royal family and its subjects are left to manage the empire on their own, as
they deal with the impending demise of their much beloved king.

Yanin Gillespie - Princess Lemon Verbena Royal, Heiress to the thrown of Everknott

Peter Nadolny - Admiral and ...1st Viscount - Shirley A. Blackbush, Full time protector of the crown, it's people and lands

Scott Cranwill - Dr. Charming Woodcock, Physician to the Royal family and those who reside in the castle.

Chantel Marostica – Millie G. Draft , Nursemaid to The royal Princess Lemon Verbena

Davide Montebruno - Wachamical Ambassador to the Court of Everknott, The Baron Von Pabst, Balz Gyula the Bald, Feldzeugmeister of the First Corps.

Season 4 begins Jan 11th

2009-12-13T08:34:00.000-08:00

We are opening January 11th. Stay tuned for more wicked updates on the Life and Times of
The Crown Royal's
Soap Scum Presents...'The Crown Royals' Opening Night 'Free Admission', Bring anyone you know who would love to experience some great improv' d Soap Opera.
Every Monday at the Park Theatre starting Jan 11th
$5 at the door, 8PM.

Drink Specials this season
Monty Python Beer $4
Crown Royal $ 3.50

Forth season Begins Jan 11th, 8 PM Monday.

2009-12-10T14:42:00.000-08:00

What is Soap Scum?

Soap Scum is a group of Winnipeg based actors who produce and perform a live improvised soap opera, based on a theme. Guided by a narrator, the cast creates a new unscripted episode each week, in a continuing storyline.

Who are we?

The cast of Soap Scum features performers with a variety of experience in theatre, film, production, music, and improv comedy. Special guest performers are invited throughout each season.

Cast:

Peter Nadolny

David Montebruno

Scott Cranwill

Chantal Marostica

Yanin Gillespie

Sound and Light Production:

Jessica Rose

Dramaturge :

Randy Apostle

Where are we?

Soap Scum performs at the Park Theatre located at 698 Osborne St. Winnipeg, MB.

Visit our blog site at
http://www.scumsoap.blogspot.com

Facebook site at
http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=36691181390

When are performances?

Monday nights at 8:00pm.

Soap Scum’s eagerly anticipated forth season, The Crown Royals, premiers Monday Jan 11th 2008, at 8:00pm and continues each following week at the same time.

How much?

Tickets are $5 at the door, with monthly pass options available.

THE NEW POSTER IS HERE

2009-10-04T10:57:00.001-07:00

JAMES GILLESPIE
SEASON 4 POSTER

Coming soon to The Park Theatre near you

2009-10-04T09:35:00.000-07:00

The Royal Manor - Robert Gillespie

So now with the change of our season we are getting in some more improv sessions and loving it. Everyone is having a good time putting together costumes to fit the theme of this season.
Once again our run has changed to Jan 11TH - June 2010, it's coming up quick.
Sets are looking great and our guest line up rocks.
So mark down every Monday night on your calender as Scumday, and enjoy the drink specials that Eric has on at the park for Soap Scum Presents...The Crown Royals.

Here is the main reason for this update though.... I would like to thank everyone who have donated their time and talents to a Scummy cause.
THANK YOU!

New Season...Same Drama!

2009-09-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

WE have gone and changed our Season of Soap Scum Presents... to January 11Th until the end of June. So we will not be opening October 12Th. Please keep up with happenings on the
blog( which I will be updating ) and on Facebook Soap Scum Presents... Join the Group if so inclined.
We are hoping then to get a venue at Winnipeg Fringe Festival to have some fun.
We owe a big thank you to Eric and The Park Theatre for letting us change the running time of the Season.
So starting January 11TH, 2010 we will still be on at 8 pm, Monday's at The Park Theatre. $5 at the door, as well as some kick as drink specials.
The Park Theatre has undergone renovations, it looks amazing and we can't wait to stretch our legs on stage.
So here is to the new season of Soap Scum Presents...The Crown Royals.
4 seasons not to shabby...here's to soooooo many more.
We never thought we would get more than one season of Scumin it up, and here we are preparing for our 4TH season and having a blast.
To everyone who helps us make it happen and to all the Scummer's who make it out to watch in -40 below weather a huge thank you!!!
Much Love and scumminess
Yanin

Scum City Ep.21- The Yugoslavicakian Connection

2009-04-02T18:14:00.000-07:00

Craven MooreHead, The Brick, and Romeo Romero

A Romero Moment...

Nothin beats a good cup of jo in the morning. That's what I was tinkin when I spilled the sonvabich on my new white shirt. But eh, I won't fuss, cuz nobody knows about gettin rid of stains like I do.

I deal with alot of stains, mostly blood, yet still manage to keep myself looking pristeen and sharp every second of every day. Tha's on account of two tings. 1 - I always carry an extra shirt. You never know where you may get caught needin one. 2 - A very special ingredeant.

I've tried spit, sodee water, white wine and all the other old wives tales (no ma, I wasn't talkin BOUT YOU!) but nothin gets blood outta yer accoutrements better than good ole hairspray. A couple of squirts and an old rag will get it off yer leather coat and make it look like new. (incedently it also helps to get rid of any meat gleam if you bin standin next to Saliva) Same goes wit yer sneakers and trousers. As for my nice white shirts, a few sprays, toss a match at it and poof! Good bye everdence.

So there ya go. My tought of te day.

Last time on Soap Scum Presents...Scum City

Craven MooreHead has seized control of Scum City, with all the Heavy hitters out of the picture is there anyway of stopping the MooreHead reign of terror. He has put his daughters under survailance...someone has to keep an eye on those two.
His creepy twin daughters Hanna and Banana MooreHead lurk the dark shadows of Scum City taking advantage of all who cross their creepy creepy paths. Who knew you could actually date someone to death...Dream Date!

Romeo Romero loves his mother...will he use the money he and Saliva stole from VanDyke to spoil her in the manner she has become acustom, or will he attemp to win the love of the only women in Scum City he hasn't slept with Polly Parker Bowles.

Chuck Porter the Bounty Hunter was thrown a curve ball by creepy twin#2 when he was put down like an 7-10 split.

Fuzzie Dunlop who breezed into town like a smelly bag of urine, found work at Craven MooreHead's (fomally Vandyke's) and then proceeded to piss all over Scum City.

Scum City Ep.19 - The Cheese Stands Alone!

2009-03-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

R-I-P Clyde VanDyke

Scum City recently said farewell to one of it's finest bags of scum, and also said hello to a few new interesting characters...

The unnaturally tanned Craven Moorehead is the new strong arm in town having bullied, blasted, or banged all opposition. In a city without a mayor or police who can stop this malevolent mastermind?

Craven Moorehead and "The Frenchman"

Say hello to Clyde VanDyke's ex-wife Beverly Vandyke

The tallest bounty hunter ever to enter into Scum City.

Perhaps the Creepiest addition to the City... The Creepy Moorehead twins

R-I-P Chip Brickowski

Join us this Monday for the next exciting episode of Soap Scum Presents...Scum City.
Same scummy time...same scummy station.

Scum City Ep.18 - The New Face of Scum City

2009-03-08T22:13:00.000-07:00

Romeo Romero was last to be spotted with The MacDonald's Priest, Newly elected Mayor Flinn Flanagan who's body was found in the Rouge river...so what has become of Romeo? And what of his beloved mother?

Mason Sparks is still Scum City's most deadly coma patient.

Detective Brickowski is at odds with his inner and apparently outer demons...after droping his new found love interest off at the docks, he continues the search for his son Chip.

Clyde VanDyke set out to put an end Saliva Horkin once and for all when a battle of his bowls took him out of play...lucky for him Saliva came to his aid and saved him from his own inner filth...she did however leave him one kidney short, but hey who's counting.

Childe Dupris never recovered from her fatal gunshot wounds she recived during the shoot out at the freshly stalked Katchup Wearhouse. She will be sadly missed...funeral to be held this Monday at the Macdonald's Cathedral...her Ninja sword of doom will be remembered fondly.

Polly Parker-Bowls is a busy, busy girl...not only is she dating pretty much every available man in Scum City...she is still finding time to burn and pilage...and black mail...and host sing song seasions in the butcher's meat wagon. Busy, busy, busy...

Saliva Horkin convinced her ancient Ugoslavacockian rituals can bring Mason back...she has been diligently smearing the poor coma patient with mounds of Klick. Mounds and mounds.

Join us once again for an exciting episode of Scum City.

SCUMMERS THERE IS NO SHOW MARCH 23RD.
WE HAVE DONATED OUR TIME SLOT TO A PRODUCTION OF

Peter Pan the stage play

Monday, March 23 2009, 7:00pm - 10:00pm

www.parktheatervideo.com

Scum City Ep.17 - Mayor or May Not

2009-02-28T08:47:00.001-08:00

-R I P-
MASON SPARKS
YOU WILL BE MISSED

The brutal slaying of "Wonder Boy" Detective Mason Sparks has shocked the citizens of Scum City to the core of it's slimy underbelly. He was at one time the 'New hope' to clean up this retched hived of scum and villainy. Funeral service to be held this Monday the 2nd...punch and pie to be served.
Service provided by The Macdonald Cathedral.

Childe Dupris is in stable condition and is recovering from Gunshot wounds who knows when she will return to the streets.

Detective "Brick" Brickowski caught up in the heat of the Mayoral race has perhaps let his campaign manager go too far to gain the upper hand. He did promise to clean the city up Brick by Brick but by what means, what else does he have planned? The where abouts of his beloved son Chip still remain a mystery...an 18 year long mystery, without Mason to help him will it stay an unsolved mystery?

Clyde Van Dyke limps away from a crushing mayoral debate against a sober Frank Brickowski, when Van Dyke's lust for blood is made perfectly clear to the people of Scum City, but will it actually lose him any votes?

Polly Parker-Bowls seems to have chosen her side...beside Father Flynn Flanagin where ever he stands it seems she will fallow. Is there more to their relationship than meets the eye or will it go up in flames like all the other men in Polly's life.

Saliva Horkin has done what she came to do...make Clydes Vandyke's life miserable. Will she stick to "The Brick" now or will she wash her hands of the whole mayoral thing. In honor of her beloved Mason Sparks Horkin's Meats is having a 50% off sale on all Klik products!!

Romeo Romero is he really true to Vandyke's campaign or does he have something else on his agenda? He has been a busy boy lately...so much crime so little time. What will his deceased mother think when she finds out he was behind the murder of Mason Sparks and can he keep it out of confession...

With Romero's dirty little hand in everyone's cookie jar, you have to wonder... just who is running Scum City...find out this week on another exciting episode of Soap Scum Presents...SCUM CITY!

Scum City Ep.16 - The Passion of the Heist

2009-02-22T13:28:00.001-08:00

Saliva Horkin and Romeo Romero

Clyde VanDyke reaches out to the church for help with his campaign as the Mayoral race heats up. He has recruited Father Flynn Flanagin of The MacDonald Cathedral to speak at his next public appearance.

Detective Brickowski after intense campaign meetings, mistakingly arranged as Champagne meetings by Saliva, The Brick has finally found his campaign slogan "Vote Brickowski he'll give you a deal". Still no sign of young Chip Brickowski.

Romeo Romero admitted to his mother that he ditched the body of Mayor 'Sugar Tits' Magee. He also tried to hustle a priest at the Scum City train station. and slept with three hookers...

Officer Childe Dupris returned from academy training with her act cleaned up and ready to turn on the heat.

Officer Mason Sparks has become a loose canon... Does he still have what it takes to be a golden boy cop or has Scum City finally gotten under his skin for good.

Saliva Horkin is enjoying her new position as Detective Brickowski's Champagne Manager.

What is going down in the drudge they call Scum City. And who will be left holding the city in the palm of their hand when the smoke clears!?
Join us again for another exciting episode of SOAP SCUM PRESENTS ' SCUM CITY '...
Featuring special guest Todd Royle

Scum City Ep.15 - A Chip Off the Old Brickowski

2009-02-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

Romeo Romero and Polly Parker-Bowles

SCUM CITY NEWS

With the timley death of Uncle 'Bubba' Parker, Mason Sparks aka Danny Orphan, aka Chester Bronson, aka Grayson Chowder is free once again to assume his true identity, but after so long deep under cover, does he even know who he is any more?

With the loss of her "Uncle" Parker, will Polly Parker-Bowles pull off the insane kidnapping of...herself!!!? Is the threat of just one Parker brother enough to make Clyde VanDyke pay up or will she have to start sending herself to him in pieces?

Police Sargent Brickowski is running for mayor against affluent club owner, Van Dyke, will his free magnets be enough to sway the vote?

Brickowski's only son(Chip Brickowski)is still missing, and the clock is counting down, will The Brick find his boy before it's too late?!.

Romeo Romero has finally cut the apron strings...he informed his deceased mother that he is moving out...

VanDyke for Mayor!!!! After his speech he delivered more than promises to the crowd, throwing 10 million is cash out to the voters hopefully ensuring his position as Scum City's new mayor.

Childe Dupris is still on probation until certain issues have been resolved. Will Scum City's wild Childe conform to the uniform?

Saliva Horkin has had alot the think about since someone burnt down Horkin Meats Butchershop. Luckily while it is being rebuilt by her new employee Chester Bronson, Saliva has been busy helping Police Sargent Brickowski run against VanDyke for Mayor.

Join us this week for another exciting episode of Scum City.
With special guest appearances by Goeff Hughes and Todd Royle

No Show Monday

2009-02-01T12:55:00.000-08:00

There is no show this Monday February 2nd.
Join us the following Monday February 9th at The Park Theatre for another episode in the continuing adventures of Scum City.

Scum City Ep.14 - The Great Horkin Revenge

2009-01-23T09:36:00.001-08:00

Soap Scum Presents the return of Geoff Hughes as One half of The Parker Brothers in the next exciting installment of Scum City!

Mr. Parker's presences stirs the city into a tizzy when his beloved niece Polly goes missing once again. But when VanDyke fingers Saliva Horkin as Polly's kidnapper, will Parker take his revenge, or will Horkin have the last laugh?!

The Scum has Risen

2009-01-20T23:41:00.000-08:00

The Scum of Scum City

Clyde VanDyke

Romeo Romero

Frank "The Brick" Brickowski

Mason Sparks

aka - Danny Orphan
aka - Chester Bronson
aka - Grayson Chowder

Saliva Horkin

Polly Parker-Bowles

MIA - Lieutenant Childe Dupris

Soap Scum is a group of Winnipeg based actors who produce and perform a live improvised soap opera, based on a theme. Guided by a Director/Narrator, and featuring live musical accompaniment, the cast creates a new unscripted episode each week, in a continuing storyline.

Randy 'The Brain' Apostle

2009-01-20T23:04:00.000-08:00

Randy's job in the troupe is not for the faint of heart.
He has all of a week to figure out what happened in the last episode...figure out where he is heading with this weeks episode...only too change whatever he may have had in mind because the last scene changed the entire plot...got it? Directing a show with no script is not easy.

Yeah... I still have no idea how he does it every week.

It all starts somewhere...

2008-11-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

Timmy Cranwill - Music Director/Narrator

Just who and what is Timmy Cranwill? That's a question we are all still
asking ourselves...
Joining the crew in season 2 of Soap Scum Presents...Space Quest.
He spent most of the season playing the Ships computer.
We seriously just threw him to the wolves and he just fit in so well we
wouldn't let him leave.
I really couldn't tell you how many hours Timmy puts into all of his magic that he throws at us each week, I just know that it must be a lot.

He sits in the shadows narrating all of Randy's creative insanity and is still able to play guitar, keyboards, and find sound effects to toss into a scene when he wants to crack us up...boy can multitask like a super hero.
He is an essential part of the machine we call Soap Scum

Behind the scenes of Soap Scum

2008-10-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

Beth Gillespie
Hours spent in the garage painting...to many to count
Flats completed 3
Beers offered as payment...actually I think we're still trying to save up to buy her a beer...
but the taste of that one cold beer will be priceless.

Hard at work putting it all together

Thank you to all who put their sweat and tears into it.
Here's to many more seasons of Soap Scum.
Thank you to James Gillespie for all of his help with posters/pictures.

SEASON 3 OF SOAPSCUM PRESENTS

2008-09-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

This season, SoapScum takes a stab at the steamy slices of life from the scummy underbelly of the Film Noir, Pulp Crime Genres.
Be there to catch all the action, or you just might find yourselves at the bottom of the Rouge River.
but remember, if anyone asks...you didn't see nothin!

Starting October 6th

Space Quest Ep.32- Heart Black as Hand!

2008-06-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

Last week on Space Quest...

Buff - Seduced by the Black Hand, Buff now controls Spook with his newly anointed ' Black Thumb' .

Dot - Shut down...no simply reprogrammed...Dot is back with a new attitude and what looks to be a new team 'Milk Force Five'.

Talya - Vows not to let the Black hand have her baby...but does the crazy mechanic plan to blow the Meteoroid and all that remain aboard to keep her precious cargo safe.

Spook - Disbanded Zombie Force 10 after he lost his first and only team member (Gord) to the Black Hand...will he fight the power and once again rise to the aid of his beloved team?

Milk - Admitted that it was he who knocked up Talya with both Starflinger and Black Hand DNA...but why did he do it, what are his true plans for the team he now leads.

Professor - Stands alone against the Hand of Darkness, his team has been ripped from his grasp...turned against each other by the evil Hand. What will the Professor do to Keep his team, his love, and the universe safe...or is it too late for even the professor?

Lady Milf - She's Back from the spa and ready to cause more trouble...this is one mother you don't want to Fuck with... but just who's side is she really on.

The Black Hand - Consumed once again by a Zombie, The Black Hand will rise ever more, so long as The Hand still draws power!

Can Space Quest escape the grasp of the Black Hand before they are consumed by their darkest desires?! All this and much more on the next exciting episode of Space Quest!!
Brian Ragowsky and Nicole Wildeman return to reprise their award winning roles, as Space Quest comes careening to an end, only weeks away!

Space Quest Ep.32- Enemy, My Enemy

2008-05-29T13:41:00.000-07:00

Last time on SpaceQuest

Buff - Returns to the Meteoroid on a Secret mission to recruit members for his new team GALAXY FORCE, and to kill anyone who refuses the offer.

Dot - Has once again found out that her circuits can't sustain her passions, she had to inform The Professor that she is not long for this world. With only 4 weeks to live will Dot find away to make the most of her Robot love, emotions, and sex drive?

Talya - has planted explosives around the ship...but to kill who? Who knows, girl is crazy! The Black Hand returned and informed Talya the Baby was his. Turning to Milk for aid she then discovered it was Milk who was behind the pregnancy in the first place. Still baby brain crazy Talya agreed to join MILK FORCE FIVE on the advice of her own baby...

Spook - Was tempted to join the Galaxy Force after eating numerous gifts sent to him as bribes. Seems our little Zombie has given up the Glerks for his true nature once again. He refused the offer from Buff to join the team and formed his own with the newly zombified Gord. They call themselves ZOMBIE FORCE TEN!!

Milk - Formed his own team MILK FORCE FIVE. Searches for his missing Mother Lady Milf who has mysteriously vanished. Finds out The Black Hand is back...but just what is the true nature of their relationship. Did he ever really leave the grasp of The Black Hand? What does our former Evil Genius have up his sleeves.

Prof. - While desperately trying to get his meteoroid back into orbit, learns his true love has only 4 weeks to live. Loosing his wits he attempts to take out the Black Hand on his own, only to loose his left arm in the battle.Then found out his entire team had disbanded and formed there own separate teams also acquiring there own wicked ass theme songs. He manages to convince all the teams to stay and join forces for one last fight against The Black Hand...he also recruits Mitchel(Leader of the Wiggers) to aid them in the battle at Wiggers Cove.

Space Quest no longer enough to face the Black Hand alone, especially with the meteoroid marooned at Wigger's Cove! Space Quest Joins forces with Galaxy Force, Milk Force Five, Zombie Force X, and yes even The Wiggers to thwart the nefarious Black Hand!...But will even this epic alliance be enough? Find out on the next exciting episode of Space Quest!!

With Special Guests Geoff Hughes, Brian Ragowsky, Taggart Porter and more.

Make sure to check out the schedule for the up coming Space Quests
http://www.parktheatervideo.com/2008-06.htm
as there is no show on June 23rd.

Space Quest EP.31 The Sleeping Giant

2008-05-22T09:48:00.001-07:00

Last time on Space Quest...

The Wiggers are coming, the Wiggers are coming!!! Now that the wedding is finally over, will the Team realize the impending doom that awaits them at Wiggers cove???

Buff - Returned to the team with Dots Mom in tow...How did the Warrior ape manage to evade capture from the Wiggers...

Dot - Has finally exchanged marriage vows and is officially Mrs. Smith.
Love is in the air...or is that Buff...oh yeah that's Buff.

Talya - Was released from her quarters for the wedding. Will her good behavior last or is she just waiting for the right moment to leave the team at the mercy of the Wiggers.

Spook - Best Man...Maid of Honor...Flower Zombie...thrilled at the request of both Dot and Professor to stand up for them at their wedding and hasn't stopped crying since. Will he pull it together in time to help the team fight the dreaded Wiggers...

Milk - Struggling with Spooks attack on his Mother Lady Milf (even though she was left with no ill effects.) Will Young StarFlinger follow through on his threat to avenge his mother. Will he let the Zombie of the hook? Will he find his true Evil potential just like mommy always dreamed he would.

Professor - Finally it's done, he's Married the honeymoon can start... oh wait a second what about 'The Wiggers'...ahhhhhhh!

Will this marriage serve to unite or divide the already crippled team!? Will the team launch the crashed Meteoroid from Wiggers Cove before a mysterious threat grounds them pertinently! Join us for the next exciting episode of Space Quest.

With Special Guest Stars!

Nicole Wildeman!!
Geoff Hughes!!!
Taggart Porter!!!!
And Many More!!!!!

Drain Plug Ep30- Wedding at Wigger's Cove

2008-05-02T08:38:00.000-07:00

Spook - Peter Nadolny
Artist - James Gillespie

Last time on Space Quest:

Buff - The only member of the team who might have brought Talya to her knees and stopped the meteoroid from crashing into Wiggers Cove. Where could he be? Who could he be doing? Will he return with Soso in time to save the team?

Dot - (sung to the tune of 'Going to the Chapel')
Going to Wiggers cove and she's gonna get married. Robot Leagues a comin and she's gonna get married. Team is gonna perish, Sex Bot's still a gettin married. Carnage and Love at Wiggers Cove.

Spook - Zombie has returned...from the med lab. Things were actually looking up for th rotting little man...he was asked to be Maid of Honor at Prof. and Dot's wedding... had a brilliant epiphany about The Black Hand...Had an open and shut case against Talya with the help of his genius lawyer Milk Star Flinger...and then he went and Nibbled Milks Mom.

Talya - Okay soooooo her baby is talking to her...she's dropped her court case against Spook just because Milk asked, and she maybe 'her own baby daddy'! she also crashed the meteoroid into Wiggers Cove... hormones are a bitch.

MIlk - With the Help of Mommy Milf 'The Evil Genius' seems to be at the top of his evil game. And just to make sure he stays there Lady Milk StarFlinger has called in her 'special friend' from the Robot League for back up. Milks cup seems to be over flowing, can he stay one step ahead of the team?? Will he tell his mommy the results of the paternity test he performed on Talya?? What will he do to the poor Zombie when he finds out Spook got a little to close to Lady Milf.

Professor - presented Sex Bot Dot with their wedding rings, then hid them in his favorite plant, Timothy. Tried to solve the mystery of Talya's betrayal by removing the StarFlinger crystal, unfortunately this only seemed to drive the poor grease monkey over the edge and she crashed the Meteoroid into the planetoid Wigger's Cove. But hey...After a thousand years give or take of fighting, and researching 'The Black hand', it took the simple rotting mind of a Zombie to sugested they try tracking the hand rather than the man. Gotta stay positive, right.

Join us this Monday at The Park Theatre for another amazing episode of
SPACE QUEST!!!

p.s.
You are cordially invited to celebrate
the wedding of
Sex Bot DOT
and
Professor laureate George Arthur Smith
Planetoid of Wigger's Cove
Mibl'th'ith-sss Sector
Dress will be Space Formal

Introducing special guest, the infamous Geoff Hughes!
And once again returning as Lady Milf Starflinger
Nicole Wildeman

2008-04-24T17:27:00.000-07:00

Raisin Redwarf-actress Rachel Wall
Artist- James Gillespie

SPACE QUEST T-SHIRTS $15 EACH THIS MONDAY AT THE PARK.

LAST TIME ON...SPACE QUEST

Buff - still scronking and spreading his urine throughout the galaxy. Warrior Apes have all the fun.

Spook - After being shot by Talya 57 times, he is now recovering in the Med Lab.

Dot - Will she ever get the Professor to set a wedding date? Will she bow the the threats of Lady Milf Starflinger?? Will she forgive Talya for shooting her best friend 57 times??? So many questions, so little Sex Bot

Milk - Coming off a soul searching 72 hour bender, Milk remains conflicted about his mother's visit, which has raised doubts as to whether he's doing all he can to meet his potential...But mommy seems to be bringing out the best in her Evil Little Genius. Milf revealed that Talya Kidstix is wearing the Starflinger family crystal. Will they use the oily mechanic as a vessel to further the Starflinger legacy...how evil, how genius.

Talya - is now wearing a crystal she took from the Black Hand Spy(Hyacinth), right before Talya zapped her with her Manmelter 3500 XQ. She has no idea that the crystal belongs to the Starflingers...it has had quit interesting effects on the grease monkey. On an happy note, the Professor told Talya that she has potential...who knew.

Professor - Confronted Milf about her threats of calling the robot league, attempting to dissuade her by explaining his special arrangement with Gord, one of the Robot League investigators. It turns out Milf also has a special arrangement with Gord... in bed. Apologized feebly to Dot for his lack of attention she deserved. Suddenly an incoming message from The Black Hand once again took him from his beloved Dot. A terrible and taunting message. Just what is the dreaded five Finger salute??

Mother's Milk

2008-04-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Capt. Yan Soso - Darcy Jonston
Artist - James Gillespie

Last time on Space Quest

Talya Kidstix - Pregnant update: Talya doesn't care who's baby she's carrying as long as Milk's mom is the grandma.
She is currently tracking down Spooks ex-wife on orders from the Professor, a Shoot on sight order(Talya favorite)

Dot - After being downloaded with the legal system, Dot took on Judge duties...here come da judge, here come da judge. Can she maintain order though?
After meeting Milk's Mommy Lady Milf StarFlinger, will Dot find her Robot Jealousy chip working overtime? Will she sit by and watch the professor and Computer succumb to the ways of the Milk Maid?

Buff - Sent the Team a message...
Ape vacation fun, lots of Scronking.
Have to go eating own feces now...wish you were here.
Soso says "hi"
Buff

Spook - Is now a single Zombie once again! look out ladies, unfortunately he's still under a restraining order from his beloved Talya, but Will she drop the case to gain his help in their fight against The Black Hand?

Milk - After watching his mother charm her way through the entire Meteoriod, Milk also seems to have embraced the women who abandoned him years ago...who wouldn't she's hot. Can mommy bring out the true Evil Genius in her son and will she bring the wrath of The Robot league down on the team? Will Milk forgo the Professors orders and still represent both parties in the sexual harassment case...how evil...how genius...

The Professor - Revealed Hyacinth(Spooks Zombie wife...er...ex--wife)as a Black Hand agent and has engaged the team in a secret mission...The mission of The Black Hand...just as soon as their legal issues are cleared up.
Rumors have started to fly about the Professors flirting sessions with Milk's mother...who would have started such talk...an enraged and hurt Sex Bot...a jealous son...a zombie wanting the attention of the meteoroid on someone else for a change...or perhaps a hormonal Meteoroid Mechanic looking for some entertainment...or was it...no it couldn't have been...Computer!!!!

Will MIlk be stymied by his mother's molly-cottling? Will Milf Starflinger succeed in seducing Prof. Smith?
All this and More on a little meteoroid flying through space.

Taming of the Shrewd

2008-04-09T17:04:00.000-07:00

Last week on SoapScum Presents:

Dot - Sex Bot by name only since resigning from the team, finally has it out with The Professor one last time. Will Sex Bot Dot ever get her man? He did make her a nice job offer.

Buff - Off to pick up Milks mommy, show off his new Flin Flon Dong to the universe, and help Capt. Yan Soso find his beloved Raisen RedDwarf. When will they return...

Milk StarFlinger - Even the genius mind of Milk is stressed to it's limits with the upcoming Space court Cases of which he is representing both sides.As well as the burden of potential fatherhood...what else could possibly go...Oh wait did we mention Milks Mother is coming to Space Quest headquarters!

Talya - Still trying to figure out what is in her...she may have come to terms with the fact that she will be a mother of...something.

Prof. George - tries to win the heart of his beloved Sex Bot back by offering her a job aboard the meteoroid. Such a romantic...or so he thinks. With his mind on his Dot has he forgotten how to run the Team?

Spook - After being ditched by Raisen RedDwarf, Spook took up with a Vegas Zombie. Marring her and bringing his bride back to meet the team. He has already Filed for divorce using Milk once again as his legal representation. But is his Zombie bride even... a real Zombie or was she just using the gullible Spook to finish out some diabolical mission for the Black Hand!!!

What horrors await our Space Quest team?

At Daze End

2008-04-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

Darcy Johnston as Capt. Yan SoSo
Rachel Wall as Raisen RedDwarf

To all scummers we had an article in the Uniter this week
Do Check it out.

http://uniter.ca/view.php?aid=40427

A Quick update to qunch your Scummy thirst...
Buff is back in body part action...

Dot is retiring her Sex Bot ways...

Milk StarFlinger...still Retired Evil Genius?...maybe...

Spook has lost his way... Zombie ways, including his razor sharp teeth...

Talya still moody, still pregnant...

Professor is choosing to ignore everything in hopes that it will all just go away...

With the team realing in unrequited romance, will they be preared for the coming threat!?

Join us again at The Park Theatre to rot your brains with some Improvised Soap Opera...The SoapScum way!!!

2008-03-21T19:48:00.000-07:00

-Spook awoke from a terrifying dream, in which he had caused untold pain to his friends.
- Talya returned from her vacation and gifted Milk a box of tiny creatures known as Glerk's. -Talya announced news of her pregnancy to Prof. Smith and Dot, confiding in the Professor her fear that spook may be the baby’s father.
-Milk gifted to Spook his female Glerk who spook took as a pet to live with him on the meteoroids barren surface and named Cinderella.
-Dot accepted Prof. Smith’s proposal of marriage, and they decided to organise an engagement party.
- After an irritating allergic reaction to the creatures, Milk was informed that his symptoms were caused by the spermal residue left by the creatures as they attempted to procreate.
- After accepting Dot's apology for treating him poorly, Milk helped with her plan for the St. Patrick's day/engagement party.
-As the Glerk's numbers multiplied, taking over the meteoroid, Milk and the professor scrambled to figure out what to do.
-At wit’s end Prof. Smith suggested they may be forced to destroy the meteoroid if all the Glerks could not be contained...but not before they partied!
-At the engagement/St. Patrick’s day/welcome home Spook party Talya stormed off in an hormonal huff to the third levels during a rousing game of shoot the tail on the zombie.

Space Quest

2008-03-05T15:48:00.000-08:00

-Prof. Smith left on a sabbatical leaving Talya Kidstix in charge in his absence.

-After the Bananaaa was eaten Dot began experiencing old memories of her new body, and thoughts that belonged to the long dead Camilla Smith.

-Talya and Milk butted heads Milk made it very clear that he intended to keep control of the team, and that it was not wise to cross him. Talya assigned him to crapper clean-up doodie...I mean duty.

-Talya’s friend Krix arrived with a delivery of the highly narcotic Twix Juice, and the two caught up on old times.

-Suspicious of Talya's flip-flop on her position to usurp the professor's command, and with the arrival of her pal Krix, Milk gave Buff a secret mission to spy on Talya.

-While Testing out her body, Dot experienced, smelling like a hobo, pain, and getting completely hammered, causing Camilla's thoughts bled out and became Dot's words.

-Krix encountered Spook and revealed that he once loyally served as a Colonel under General Spookingdorf, before his zombification.

-Spook, under ZobiTron’s control, took advantage of Krix in an attempt to capture and destroy the Space Quest team.

-While cleaning the crapper, Krix attacked and tied up Milk. With the help of Talya Milk managed to escape, only to be assaulted by Spook under Zombietron’s mind control.

-Talya convinced Krix that the Spookingdorf he had known was no more and she enlisted his and Buff’s help in an attempt to destroy the zombie menace once and for all.

-Having defeated the Zombie hordes on the lower levels, the crew encounterd Spook, who proved to be too powerful, resisting their attacks and biting off Krix’s ear.

-Camilla used Dot, to re-enact a bargain she had made with ZombiTron, centuries ago, but being double crossed, Camilla foiled ZombiTron by having him removed from Spook's body.

-Camilla took ZombiTron on herself, and to keep it from coming back, she had Talya execute her, and ZombiTron.....forever?!

When the Cat's Away...

2008-02-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

Will Buff's Wee Willy Winky return to active duty? Will Talya and Milk succeed in ousting Prof. Smith?

Spook made headway in his struggle to maintain control of ZombTron, which has taken over his body from within.

Prof. Smith slipped deeper into a confused stupor after his encounter with the ‘huge zombie cock’ of episode 17.

Dot’s surgery was successful, transforming her into a real human woman, which incidentally could be reversed and re-reversed at any time.

The Theapen Crystal of Life was successfully removed from the robot Dot and could be used for any number of plot devices, including but not limited to, resting Spook from the will of ZombiTron, and regrowing Buff’s custard launcher.

Talya gave the new Dot a wicked makeover!

Spook, vowing to see Milk removed from his position as field supervisor, and circulated a petition among the team.

Dot confessed to Prof. Smith, that he was the soul-mate she had been smelling in her dreams, (or some cheesy crap like that).

Talya concluded that the now befuddled Prof. Smith is not the man to lead the team. Milk agreed to help her take down Smith, and in exchange, Talya would remove her name from the petition.

Talya also enlists Buff to spy on Milk, offering to regrow his cock n’balls as leverage.

Milk urged Prof. Smith to disregard the petition, but Smith insisted upon following procedure and submitting the petition to Admiral Farnell for approval.

Talya contacted Admiral Farnell to ask permission to execute order 17 and gets the go ahead, but fails to get another weekend with the Admiral.

Milk encounter the newly human Dot, and seized the opportunity to leave Dot with a human experience she wouldn't forget, engaging her in a fierce fornication.

The team agreed (for once) that Buff’s manhood was more important than Spook’s life, and encouraged Buff to consume the Theapian Crystal in the hopes it would regrow his tube steak and dumplings without the need for routine day surgery.

A Moth to the Light

2008-02-15T15:03:00.000-08:00

As grave peril strikes the team will Talya be able to maintain order or will Milk seize control?

Will Spook succumb to the will of ZombiTron? Can Buff live without his love muscle? Will Dot really be human?!

Milk continued to enjoy toying with the dynamics of the team, likening his control over them to that of a puppet master.

Prof. Smith and Dot reconcile their relationship, and prepare for Dot’s transformation into a human.

Buff's most valued appendage was still suffering from E.D. due to his extended Zombie infection. Talya offered to FIX Buff and grow him a new member for HIS team in the labs.

Milk's suspicions of Spook were confirmed when the zombie admitted to him that he has been in league with ZombiTron. Milk told the professor that Spook was now inhabited by ZombiTron, and must be destroyed.

Talya and Dot delved into Milks past only to find that Milk has erased bits and pieces of his records, for what evil purpose is unknown.

Buff allowed Spook to inject his love muscle with his zombie blood, inorder to induce a state of rigger mortis.

In an effort to preserve Spook’s life, Prof. Smith confronted his ill fated friend, and was subsequently assaulted by Spook in what ZombiTron referred to as “Order 69”.

Talya also question Spook with the use of her side arm(her gun, not really her arm) shooting Spook in every part possible except his head, as per her orders.

Dot discovers Prof. Smith in an incoherent state of post traumatic shock, due to his graphic sexual assault.

Talya and Milk realized that the ZombiTron infection must be eliminated immediately. Talya severed Buff's genitals, and blasted them into oblivion, while Milk grabbed Spook and sliced his throat, (but did not decapitate him), and left him bleeding out on the floor.

Dot, realised her only hope of saving her BFFL was the Theape Crystal of Life lodged in her central core. She rushed off to surgery to remove the Crystal and transfer her consciousness to the already prepared human body.

All these questions and more, on the next... SPACE QUEST!

Up and coming Space fun!

2008-02-09T17:56:00.000-08:00

*FRI. FEB 22, 8:00pm PTE School Fundraiser
Hosted by-and featuring-Soap Scum, with a performance by PTE School's Improv Company, BLURT.

-->Call 925-5253 for full details.

Should be a wicked good time.

Drain Plug Episode 17- 'Call of the Moaning Shambler'

2008-02-09T17:37:00.001-08:00

- Spook's Zombie virus mutated out of control, causing him to go on a mad, zombie rampage, while Prof. Smith struggled to cure the already infected himself and Buff.

-Dot and Prof. Smith confronted their feeling for each other in a Robot Dance Interlude.

-Milk confronted Spook, and promising him a cure, Milk convinced the deranged zombie to eat Prof. Smith’s brain. 4th times the charm, after all.

-Dot tells Prof. Smith of her dream to be a real girl, and reveals that she has exhumed the body of the Professor’s long dead wife in an effort to transfer her consciousness there in.

-After thanking Buff for saving his life from Milk 2.0, Milk encouraged Buff to act on his new Zombie instinct, and eat the Professor's brain.

- Talya discovers Milk’s secret stash of Baking Powder, but before she can reveal his treachery Milk placated Prof. Smith with promise of a zombie curing cake.

-Prof. Smith revealed that, the ancient scourge of the galaxy, Zombitron! may be to blame for the strange zombie mutations.

-Spook abducts Talya, and after a quick struggle she is held captive by the deranged shambler for the remainder of the episode.

-Milk used his secret stash of baking powder to bake an anti-zombie Fallopian Tube Cake, which had the property of curing mild forms of zombism.

-Prof. Smith appeals to Spook’s humanity convincing him to release Talya from his grasp during a Zombie Thriller Dance Interlude.

-Buff and Prof. Smith eat the fallopian tube cake, curing their zombism but it is feared the cake may be fatal for Spook in his advanced state of the disease.

-Due to encouragement by the Automated Studio Audience, Spook decides to indeed, eat the Professor’s brain once again.

'The Milk of Yesteryear'

2008-02-01T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dot returned from a long drug induced haze on the Freaky Deaky World to find a lot had changed, including her feelings for Prof. Smith.

Dot had a dream in which she smelled her true love, but having never smelt before, she was unable to identify the mystery man. Dot decided to order a real nose from her friend and fence Raisin Redwarf.

Spook and Dot caught up and dished.

Talya and Spook set out to find and procure Baking Powder from a colony of Avonian Pyramid Schemers. En route they were suddenly ambushed by the Dreaded Amoah-Gyampohzians Baking Powder Pirates.

Dot downloaded her emotions to the robot Milk 2.0, who went on a mad rampage aboard the Metoroid.

Left adrift without oxygen Talya was only able to survive by sucking oxygen from Spook’s lungs.

After being taken out of spacestatiatus, Buff, in full zombie form and under the control of Milk 2.0, was sent to kill the space quest team.

Dot confronted Prof. Smith about her change of heart, telling him he didn't make her happy, and that they are no longer an item.

The power of friendship between Buff and former 'Evil Genuis' Milk Starflinger prevailed when Buff was faced with the concept of having to kill Starflinger or the evil robot Milk 2.0.
Buff smashed Milk 2.0.

Talya admitted that she and Spook Scronked. She put in a official complaint against Spook for sexual harassment.

Spook’s Riga-Mort matured causing his shambling nature to over take him, eventually biting the professors brain, again.

Soap Bubbles Drifting in and out

2008-01-26T20:01:00.000-08:00

Soap Scum Presents
Previous guest appearances

Darcy Jonston - Han Soso

Rachel Wall - Raison RedDwarf

Brian Rogowsky - The Black Hand

Darah Burdett - Mony, Buff's former stalker from Theapes

Aaron Merke - Wallace The Talking Robot

Justin Deveau - Admiral Zhukov/Suck-off, The Dire Wraith, Milk 2.0

At Death's Door

2008-01-25T13:37:00.001-08:00

Professor Smith began to feel the effects of his zombie bite as the crew searched for their shuttle, while marooned in the caves of the Freaky Deaky world.

In their search the team encountered a Replicant of Milk Starflinger know as Milk 2.0, apparently abandoned on the planet’s surface many years before, by the former evil genius.

In their haste to return the quickly zombifying Prof. Smith to the Meteoroid, Milk abandoned Talya, Spook and Dot on the surface of the world.

In the cramped quarters of the shuttle Buff was bitten by the Zombie Prof. Smith and slowly began turning into zombie also.

Once aboard the Meteoroid Milk was able to beam Talya and Spook back home along with a sample of the planet’s flora, but Dot still remained unaccounted for.

Talya and Milk discovered that there was only enough zombie bite antidote for one, and had a heated disagreement over which of their companions should get it.

Milk 2.0 attempted to convince Milk to take up his previous plan’s for galactic domination, this time by cloning the Zombie Buff, and creating an army of Super Theapes!

Talya incapacitated Buff and placed him in Cryostasis Spacestasis to keep him, fresh until he could be cured and gave Prof. Smith the antidote.

Prof. Smith, collaborating with the computer, determined that making enough antidote to save Buff was possible only after they were able to produce enough baking powder, the antidote’s key ingredient.

Space Quest and the Freaky Deaky World of Thermopoly

2008-01-17T11:47:00.000-08:00

Spook concluded that history's most virile men were Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds and (to his surprise) Milk Starflinger, thus prompting Spook to find a way to grow facial hair to impress Talya. He began to fake razor nicks and wore aftershave.

In response to a distress beacon the team beams down to planet Thernopylae.

Dot gave Prof. Smith his Kwanzikamas present, sex.

It quickly became evident that a rare Dire Wraith had tricked the team into marooning themselves on the tropical world in order to devour their mental energy.

The Dire Wraith tricked Spook into eating psychedelic flowers and some grass, causing Spook to fall under the Wraith’s mind control and incidentally fornicate with Talya as well as Buff.

The Dire Wraith lured the team into his caves in order to isolate and over power them.

Buff located a remote control for the shuttle, which the team hoped would allow them to leave the hostile planet if they were able to escape the Dire Wraith’s caves.

In an attempt to escape the Dire Wraith’s caves Talya accidentally shot herself in the leg.

Under the Dire Wraith’s control, Spook bit Prof. Smith’s neck, causing him to exhibit signs of Zombification.

Spook, unable to wrest control of his mind from the psychedelic herbs, remained transfixed in a euphoric state, singing Bon Jovi to himself.

The team was able to band together and repel the Dire Wraith, who escaped, swearing revenge.

Space Quest begins again, all new adventures at the Park on Mondays!!

2008-01-01T12:18:00.001-08:00

Space Quest Returns January 7!

Because there is no better start to the new year than this!

Come on down to The Park, and park it!

2007-12-18T19:48:00.001-08:00

Last week on Space Quest, the arrival of Admiral Zhukov/Suck-off and Mony, Buff's former stalker from Theapes created some interesting situations for the team.

The Admiral had come to tell the Professor that his relationship with Dot must end or his team would be disbanded. He offered Milk the chance to take the Professor's place, which Milk clearly found tempting….

Following an argument with Admiral Zhukov, Milk handed him a Cyber Fryjibulator and stormed off. The purpose of the mysterious item is not yet known. What did it do to the Admiral? Did it have to do with the long-lost Theapes Treasure Milk wants to locate from Dot's 6th vagina?

Spook wandered the archives, meeting a spirit guide who showed him a glimpse of his future, and "met" his wife, Genevieve, who granted him forgiveness for his terrible past.
He also realized he still loves Talya.

After having erased all of the pages, Milk finally returns Spook's diary. In a suspicious attempt to make nice, Milk then offered his own journal to Spook, although it was refused.

Buff discovered that the Theapes ape who had sent him the drum messages was Mony, his former stalker on Theapes whom he had imprisoned for her obsessive behaviour. Mony invited Buff to create a new Theapes with her and Jakes and Shawnd, apes so stupid Buff feels superior. He realized that despite Mony's craziness he must assist in rebuilding his race. Buff left the Space Quest team reluctantly, feeling torn.

Dot and Talya conspired to kill the Admiral, feeling it was their only chance to stop him.
Dot did research on the Admiral's family life, and realized that his partner Stewart was actually a Xerox copy machine. Spook had returned from the archives to help his BFF and succumbed to his desire for flesh finally, by eating Admiral Zhukov after Talya shot him.

Island in the Sky

2007-12-08T13:42:00.001-08:00

Drain Plug

-Talya returned from briefing Admiral Zhukov about the team’s encounter with the Black Hand.

-Still in search of the lost treasure of the destroyed planet Theapes, Milk puts the pressure on Dot and Spook to provide some answers. Talya informs him there is a rare Theapes coin in Dot's 6th vagina.

-Buff hears the instinctual call of his people, The Drums of Theapes!

-Talya installed a minuscule penis on Prof. Smith’s superstructure to facilitate his romance with Dot.

-Spook forces Milk to produce his stolen diary despite his insistence that he had nothing to do with it's disappearance.

-Talya confessed to Prof. Smith that she let slip his relationship with Dot in front of Admiral Zhukov, which may result in charges being laid against the Professor.

-Prof. Smith revealed that he had been responsible for proposing the law limiting the rights of Robots, and outlawing Human/Robot relationships.

-Buff hears a psychedelic message encoded in The Drums that indicates a member of his long extinct race is coming to find him.

-Due to her Taboo relationship with Prof. Smith, Dot decides to import the corpse of Prof. Smith’s long dead wife in order to undergo dangerous surgery that would make her human.

-Talya turned down spooks offer to accompany him on a mission to the Intergalactic Archives, which she seriously regrets.

- Spook recorded a farewell message to the crew as he was transported by the computer into the archives.

It Came From the Furnace

2007-12-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

DRAIN PLUG

- Spook announced that he was becoming a vegetarian, no longer intending to consume the flesh of the living, except for baby’s.

-Dot discovered the station’s furnace, Wallace, behaving suspiciously, and determined he was infected with many viruses.

- Spook turned to drinking Smash to cope with his guilt in killing millions. In a drunken stupor Spook revealed to Milk that he had hidden the entire treasury of the planet Theapes on the meteoroid.

-Prof. Smith had a falling out with Wallace, and turned Wallace away due to his disobedience.

-Milk stole Spook's diary in an attempt to understand Spook’s recent depression, and find his hidden treasure.

- Prof. Smith granted Spook access to the archives to retrieve his memory from portions of his lobotomized brain.

-Dot discovered that numerous files had been stolen from the computer’s memory core.

-Milk took a moment to update his online dating profile, focusing on his most attractive feature, his height.

-Wallace tricked Buff into helping him to deliver the teams valuable files into the Black Hand’s black hand.

-Spook, once again in a stupor, revealed to Milk that he had hidden his treasure inside Dot.

Return from the Great Beyond!

2007-12-03T08:32:00.000-08:00

DRAIN PLUG

- Milk planned a celebration which, with Dot and Spook’s help, quickly turned into Prof. Smith’s 1156th birthday party.

-Dot implanted a chip in Buff, allowing him to experience the full potential of his evolution.

- Spook contemplated leaving Space Quest, as he came to accept his responsibility in the destruction of Buff’s home world Theapes, the death of his own wife, and the murder of billions of people.

- Dot and Prof. Smith reconciled their feelings for each other, kissing for the first time in their 1000 year relationship.

- Spook, when confronted by Buff about Theapes, offered him his neck,
but was left alive when the ‘evolved’ Buff couldn’t go through with it.

- Prof. Smith accidentally activated the Black Hand’s memories stored in the computer, which caused him to plummet into a severe case of Space Madness!! (space madness)

-In his lucid state, Buff constructed a robot for Prof. Smith, who named him Wallace, and adopted the robot as his son.

-Milk and the ‘evolved’ Buff competed in a contest of wits. Milk narrowly succeeded on a technicality, and Buff reverted to his previous IQ.

-Dot was able to lull Prof. Smith to sleep, there by cleansing his space mad mind.

-Dot and Prof. Smith were able to convince Spook to forget the past and remain a member of the team.

From the Great Beyond

2007-11-17T21:27:00.000-08:00

DRAIN PLUG

- The Black Hand revealed that Spook had only eaten his effeminate clone, and that he still had control over the meteoroid.

-The Crew met with Prof. Smith’s deceased wife Camilla, who had taken up residency in Dot (thanks to the Black Hand), and discovered for themselves what a bitch she truly was\is.

-Milk and Talya designed video dating profiles while denying the possibility that they have feelings for each other.

-Spook “promised” the Professor that he would never eat his brain….

-Buff and Milk confronted the sexual tension in their master/slave relationship.

-Talya and Spook stumbled across information stored by Prof. Smith within Dot’s memory banks, including info on Talya's sister, Spook’s late wife.

- Talya convinced Prof. Smith that without the Dot’s aide there is no way of getting out of the Black Hand’s Big Black Hole.

-Prof. Smith confronted his deceased wife and distracted her with apologies for their troubled past, while Spook was able to re-boot Dot’s original memories and programming.

-Prof. Smith was able to use a portion of the black-clone’s undigested brain to produce the information necessary to escape the Big Black Hole.

'Lost In Space'

2007-11-10T12:14:00.001-08:00

With the Black-Hand's brain eaten, will his reality bending powers wear off? Or will the team be stranded in the distant galactic nether regions of DEEP SPACE!?!!

Drain Plug

The Meteoroid was transported to a neighbouring galaxy, becoming the Play thing of the notorious Black Hand.

Buff and Milk’s slave/master relationship, verges on uncomfortable, as Buff’s feeling toward Milk turn sexual.

Spook pined for Raisin and a good vintage brain. The Black Hand attempted to lure Spook into consuming Prof. Smith’s ancient brain.

Talya, feeling horrible about shutting down Dot actually apologizes for her actions. But Dot, hoping to clear her slate erases all her memories of Prof. Smith.

Talya strikes a deal with Milk, his silence in exchange for a blind date set up through the space-wide web.

Milk struggled with his morality, as he was caught in a heated confrontation between Prof. Smith and the Black Hand.

Talya attempted to over power The Black Hand with her feminine wiles, only to find herself over-sexed by The Hand himself.

Milk although no longer field supervisor, steps up to organizes Buff and Dot in an assault on the Black Hand, which served only as a distraction.

The Black Hand altered Dot’s memory core, changing her personality to that of Prof. Smith’s deceased wife Camilla.

In his distraction The Black Hand did not notice Spook approach from behind, that is, until his brains were consumed by the Zombie.

The Black Hand's Black Hole

2007-11-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

Drain Plug

- Talya forced Milk to beam down to the dangerous Klondec Droidite (KD) system on a bogus mission, however Buff came to his aide.

- Milk took Buff on as a voluntary slave in order to guide the confused ape through his difficult evolving process.

-In a tense confrontation with Professor Smith Milk confirmed that he had engaged in an affair with the Professor's late wife.

-SB Dot submitted herself to a full memory erasure because she could no longer see her love for Professor Smith torment him with memories of his past.

-Spook was able to save all of SB Dot's memory before erasure and, then restored it in a touching scene of friendship.

-The Professor announced that there would no longer be team supervisors feeling that the hierarchy had come between them.

-Spook discovered he was responsible for his wife’s death when he was a general who destroyed millions of worlds before his simplification.

-Talya revealed to Spook that he had once been married to her sister.

-The Black Hand left the team a voice mail message indicating the time and place he would instrument their demise!!!

Space Quest: Episode VI

2007-11-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

Space Quest Headquarters

Episode VI

Will DOT recover from total reboot? Will the Black Hand succeed in his plot to anihilate the team? Join the crew same space time, new Gas Station! Don't miss the Improv Fest Special!

November 5TH 8pm

The Gas Station Theatre
445 River Avenue
Winnipeg, R3C 0C3
p: 204-284-9477

We are back at The Park Theatre for our november the 12Th show.

Same space time, same space station!!!!

Character Bio's are in!

2007-10-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

2007-09-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

What is Soap Scum?

Who are we?

The cast of Soap Scum features performers with a variety of experience in theatre, film, production, music, and improv comedy. Special guest performers are invited throughout each season.

Cast:

Peter Nadolny

David Montebruno

Scott Cranwill

Chantal Marostica

Yanin Gillespie

Sound and Light Production:

Jessica Rose

Dramaturge :

Randy Apostle

Where are we?

Soap Scum performs at the Park Theatre located at 698 Osborne St. Winnipeg, MB.

Visit our blog site at
http://www.scumsoap.blogspot.com

Facebook site at
http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=36691181390

When are performances?

Monday nights at 8:00pm.

Soap Scum’s eagerly anticipated forth season, The Crown Royals, premiers Monday Jan 11th 2008, at 8:00pm and continues each following week at the same time.

How much?

Tickets are $5 at the door, with monthly pass options available.

The Quest Begins

2007-09-08T21:18:00.000-07:00

Proud to Present

2007-08-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

CruiseBoat - Season One

2007-08-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

SOAPSCUM

presents

Season one of SoapScum went extremely well. We had a blast with every episode. Here are the weekly Drainplugs from season one.

MIA - episode one (shout out to Cory do you still have a copy?)

THE DRAIN PLUG

Where Scummers can catch what they missed!

Episode #2

You won't believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

While the threat of viral outbreak still looms, and prevents CruiseBoat from docking at its intended port, the mysterious and subtle symptoms of the illness seen to be contained to only one passenger. Spoiled brat...I mean, graceful and charming new ship owner, Ms. Madison Montgomery.

Besides being the carrier of a fatal illness, Ms. Montgomery also celebrated a birthday! "Happy Birthday Ms. Montgomery", could be heard...but it wasn't, since nobody remembered. Although, thoughtful Captain Chairman Frontle did suggest to her that all the ships problems would go away if she was to die...most certainly, happy birthday would have been more appreciated.

First mate Pip struggled to maintain order as usual, venting his frustration oner the increasingly strange behavior of the passengers and crew, to Ms. Montgomery. To demonstrate his point, Pip attempted to prove Seaman Barry Gouzler had been stealing luggage, and produced a trunk full of evidence. Instead of finding stolen ladies clothing, Pip unknowingly uncovered the hiding place of missing ships physician, Dr. Aurora Borealis, who popped out of the trunk sporting a new"lesbian " haircut.

Just in time to help deal with the crisis, the doctor jumped right into performing the physicals ordered for all by the captain. Eager to settle the disputed gender of Ms. Poileedoppola, the captain and Guya were first to be examined. But for a lesbian, the good doctor seemed more interested in the captain's "log" than she was in Guya's anatomy.

The good Captain Frontle, still confused and intrigued by the possibility that his new found friend, cruise guest Guya Poileedoppola, may have "man parts", seeks the advice of ships entertainer Mister E. reassuring him that it's perfectly natural to be attracted to a potential "lady-boy", Mister E. agrees to include a special dedication to the couple in his 3:00 show, and offers to so anything he can to help the captain...anything at all...anything gay.

Instead Mister E. got drunk, professed his own love to Guya, and in a drunken haze, belted out unintelligible musical number and then destroyed the stage. Luckily he'll remember none of it as usual, suffering from self inflicted, drunken amnesia.

Seaman Barry Gouzler, rehired and now working for half the pay, found himself harboring a major grudge against first mate Pip. Though Mister E. suggested murder, a more simple solution was presented, when the captain voiced his admiration for Seaman Gouzler, sending Pip into a jealous rage. Resigning his post out of spite, Pip unwittingly cleared the way for Barry, who now has his sights set on the newly vacant position of First Mate.

Perhaps it was the salt in the air. Perhaps it was the liquor in their bellies. Perhaps sitting stagnant in quarantine, floating off the coast the elusive first port of St. George has driven the crew and passengers mad. One thing is for sure. Dark waters are ahead for...

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #3

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

Following the discovery of an unknown and probably un-pronounceable anyway, illness, the good ship CruiseBoat finds itself forced into quarantine, floating in the waters just off the coast of their illusive next port, ST. George.

With doctor Aurora Borealis away, and a potential health crisis looming, Mr.E puts his “Doctorate in Medicine from Oxford”, to good use and acts as temporary ship physician while nursing his ever present excruciating hang-over.

Following a playful frolic with perpetual cruiser Guya Poileedoppola, ‘Captain’ Chairman Frontle, opened up, revealing a long time search for a rare sea creature known as the “Cat-Fish”. Coincidently Ms. Maddison Montgomery has been informed that not only is she the only person apparently suffering from the effects of the mysterious illness plaguing CruiseBoat, but that only the medicinal qualities of the common catfish can save her from what Mr. E refered to as, “death.”

First mate Pip had his hands full as usual reminding Chairman Frontle how to “Captain” the boat, while trying to monitor the health situation, and tending to the reasonable request of ailing Ms. Montgomery, to have an escalator installed on the boat. Perhaps letting the pressure get to him, Pip fires Seaman Barry Gouzler, for innocently stealing the guests luggage, and wearing the female passengers’ clothing…poor Pip. Of course the level headed Captain and devoted Seaman worked it out over a meal and crafts, and Seaman Gouzler was rehired at a more than fair, half salary.

Super fan-atic, Ms Guya Poileedoppola, took in Mr. E’s 3:00 show as usual. But a close encounter in the bathroom after the show was where things got a little unusual. Doing a little “stand-up” act of her own, Guya does her business the man’s way at the urinal next to him, confusing and upsetting Mr. E. Taking his concerns to the Captain, Mr. E encourages some subtle investigating, to see if Guya is a…guya.

Full physicals of everyone on board are ordered, and should offer some answers, as well as a closer look at the passengers of…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #4

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

While the threat of a viral outbreak still looms, and prevents CruiseBoat from docking at its intended port, the mysterious and subtle symptoms of the illness seem to be contained to only one passenger. Spoiled brat…I mean, graceful and charming new ship owner, Ms. Madison Montgomery.

Besides being the carrier of a fatal illness, Ms. Montgomery also celebrated a birthday! “Happy Birthday Ms. Montgomery”, could be heard…but it wasn’t, since nobody remembered. Although, thoughtful Captain Chairman Frontle did suggest to her that all of the ship’s problems would go away if she was to die…most certainly, happy birthday would have been more appreciated.

First mate Pip struggled to maintain order as usual, venting his frustration over the increasingly strange behavior of the passengers and crew, to Ms Montgomery. To demonstrate his point, Pip attempted to prove Seaman Barry Gouzler had been stealing luggage, and produced a trunk full of evidence. Instead of finding stolen ladies clothing, Pip unknowingly uncovered the hiding place of missing ship physician, Dr. Aurora Borealis, who popped out of the trunk sporting a new “lesbian” haircut.

Just in time to help deal with the crisis, the doctor jumped right in to performing the physicals ordered for all by the captain. Eager to settle the disputed gender of Ms. Poileedoppola, the captain and Guya were first to be examined. But for a lesbian, the good doctor seemed more interested in the captain’s “log” than she was in Guya’s anatomy.

The good Captain Frontle, still confused and intrigued by the possibility that his new found friend, cruise guest Guya Poileedoppola, may have “man parts”, seeks the advice of ship entertainer Mister E. Reassuring him that it’s perfectly natural to be attracted to a potential “lady-boy”, Mister E. agrees to include a special dedication to the couple in his 3:00 show, and offers to do anything he can to help the captain…anything at all…anything gay.

Instead, Mister E. got drunk, professed his own love to Guya, and in a drunken haze, belted out an unintelligible musical number and then destroyed the stage. Luckily, he’ll remember none of it as usual, suffering from self inflicted, drunken amnesia.

Seaman Barry Gouzler, rehired and now working for half pay, found himself harboring a major grudge against first mate Pip. Though Mister E. suggested murder, a more simple solution was presented, when the captain voiced his admiration for Seaman Gouzler, sending Pip into a jealous rage. Resigning his post out of spite, Pip unwittingly cleared the way for Barry, who now has his sights set on the newly vacant position of First Mate.

Perhaps it was the salt in the air. Perhaps it was the liquor in their bellies. Perhaps sitting stagnant in quarantine, floating off the coast the elusive first port of St. George has driven the crew and passengers mad. One thing is for sure. Dark waters are ahead for…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens

Episode #5.1

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

Still in quarantine, bobbing ever so boringly off the coast of St. George, the crew and passengers of CruisBoat faced their darkest hour, literally.

As a thick fog engulfed the ship, Captain Frontle took the opportunity to reflect on the loss of his father to a ferocious Cat-Fish. Even through the thick mist, the Captain could clearly see the similarities between that fateful day, and the situation he now faced. With the sudden resignation of beloved friend and first mate Pip, he was left at sea, with no one to guide him, but his antique oversized compass, which he never realized was actually just a broken clock.

Below the eerie solitude of the main deck, the drama heated up. Having eaten the meat of catfish, and thus believing herself cured of the mysterious disease “Thingus”, Ms. Madison Montgomery expressed her relief to eccentric guest Guya Poileedoppola. The news that the boat could now port, did not inspire the reaction she expected, and Ms. Montgomery found herself locked in Guya’s manly choke hold. Fearing that her relationship with cruise entertainer Mister E. would suffer if they were to dock in St. George, Guya threatened to kill Madison if she told anyone she was cured.

Dr. Aurora Borealis, distracted by personal issues, found herself staring into the mystery of Guya Poileedoppola’s nether regions, but unable to perform the once fulfilling task of an intrusive physical examination. As Mister E. informed her that he had taken over as ship doctor, following her unexplained disappearance, things seemed to crumble for Aurora. After diagnosing herself as ‘hysterical’ she put herself under heavy sedation.

Mister E. continued to struggle with his place on board CruiseBoat. With his newly assumed position of ship doctor, he wondered if being a sub-par Elvis impersonator was really what he was meant to be. In a string of hasty, and alcohol inspired decisions, Mister E. passed his glasses and sideburns on to Seaman Barry Gouzler, injected Ms. Montgomery with a liquid he called “rat poison”, and jumped overboard. Backstroking through the cresting wake of CruiseBoat, he disappeared into the smoggy mist.

The feud between former first mate Pip, and Seaman Barry Gouzler hit it’s boiling point, leaving Pip no alternative but to leave his beloved CruiseBoat in the hands of newly appointed first mate Barry Gouzler. Pip jumped ship fading into the fog.

Also seen jumping ship Captin Chairman Frontle with Guya Poileedoppola in their own private dingy. The feuding continues on CruiseBoat. What do the winds have in store for…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #6

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

After a number of weeks quarantined off the coast of St. George, much of cruise boat’s crew, abandoned ship, including Captain Fruntal, Mysterious Guest Guya Poileedoppola, and ship’s entertainer Mr. E.

First Mate Barry Gouzler, acting on feelings of self importance and general egoism appoints himself acting captain in Chairman Funtal’s absence. Ship’s owner Madison Montgomery, having already cured herself of the dubious disease ‘Fingus’ some time before insisted upon clearing quarantine to dock at St. George. Betraying her promise to Guya Pollydoppola concerning her disease, she revealed her cure to Doctor Aurora Borealis and swore her to silence.

After many months of hiding between the cinnamon and nutmeg in the ships pantry, burlap clad stowaway Titan decides to reveal himself. Wandering the ships halls he encountered Miss Maddison Montgomery, who was spinning into a cycle of drunken apathy in the absence of her doting attendant Pipsqueek Lazeruth. Initially mistaking Titan for the former first mate she discovered how much she loves Pippy, and how easily he could be replaced. Appointing Titan her new Pipsqueak, She promised the absent Pippy she would convince her father to make him captain once they got to St. George.

In Mr. E’s absence Barry, feeling lonely, confided in Dr. Borealis his two and a half year love affair with the eccentric Elvis emulator. Barry, realizing his love for Mr. E, was for the first time beginning to question his sexuality. In hearing this the good Doctor suddenly understood that there was more to being a lesbian than wearing men’s clothing and a short hair cut which helped her to look like the x-men’s ‘Rouge’. When forced to confront the issue by bizarre foreigner Titan, she realized that not only was she attracted to men but the picture of her ideal man was Barry Gouzler!

By sunset Cruiseboat had made it’s final docking in the beautiful Port of St. George. Acting Captain Gouzler, looking over the city which had once seemed so far away. Finding him alone on deck, Doctor Borealis could not keep her feelings bottled up. But her pledges of devotion were met with flat out rejection by the confused Seaman, for not only did his feelings for Mr. E complicate the matter but his devotion for his three wives and sixteen children also stood in their way. Barry insisted she take shore leave to clear her head and Aurora reluctantly obliged, though he could not stifle the flames in her heart.

Having reached his final destination the stowaway Titan slinked off into the shadows never to be seen or heard from again… or would he?! Only time will tell what destinations lie in the itinerary for…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #7

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

With the quarantine finally over, CruiseBoat prepared to leave behind the troubled waters of St. George, and head for her new destination, The Banana Republic. Getting away proved almost as difficult as getting there, as Captain Frontle struggled to gather the fragmented crew.

Finding former first mate Pip enjoying some much needed R&R on land, the Captain managed to convince him to come back in the dingy and resume duties on the ship, putting aside their recent falling out. As they headed back to Cruise Boat, the Captain couldn’t help but feel like they were forgetting something…or someone.

Breaking the news to Seaman Gouzler, that Pip would be returning, proved to be trickier, and scarier than Captain Frontle had expected. It became clear that Barry’s new positions of First Mate, acting Captain, and ship entertainer had gone to his head, filling him with a lust for power and rage, which threatened to endanger all on board. Heading back to land, the Captain knew he must restore the crew before Barry takes over completely.

Mister E., dogpaddling nakedly, and helplessly following his jump overboard, had some time to consider his impending fate, and how it was that a once successful doctor and performer could end up floating in a polluted pool of his own… “relief”, having abandoned his career, his friends, and even attempting to murder ship owner Madison Montgomery…oh that’s right, he was a drunk. Sometimes hitting bottom can be just what one needs to see the light, and as Mister E found the shore of St. George, so too did Captain Frontle find him, and ask him to return to the spotlight, and help him deal with the “crazy Barry” thing. With a new found lease on life, and a need to make amends for his past wrongdoings, Mister E. agreed.

Dr. Aurora Borealis, realizing lesbianism involved more than just a short haircut, admitted that she was not entirely comfortable with diving into that “area”. Diving is for water…not muffs. Instead, her brief lez-perience only reaffirmed her penchant for Semen…I mean Seaman, Barry Gouzler. Her heartfelt serenade to Barry, seemed to go unheard, at least for the time being.

Ms. Madison Montgomery, having cheated death not once, but twice, found herself with something of a new take on life as well. Feeling betrayed by Pip for abandoning her, she made clear to her former friend that she had now turned her back on him, and voiced her praise for Barry Gouzler who had taken charge when everyone else cracked under the pressure of quarantine. That, coupled with her aggressive public display of affection for the Captain, drove Pip to lengths never though possible before.

In an overly elaborate, but nevertheless, successful trap rigged by Pip, Seaman Barry Gouzler fell victim to an unfortunate, and Looney Toonish injury. Slipping on a puddle of tomato juice, and lying helpless, Barry screamed, as a grand piano came crashing down, shattering his leg. Even Barry couldn’t help but hear the brief seconds of tertial harmony as middle “C” struck the ground, nicely complementing the poor Seaman, as he screamed a high “E”.

Leaving the turbulent waters of St. George behind, with sights now set on the yellowy sunsets of The Banana Republic, an unanswered question still remains. What happened to eccentric socialite Ms. Guya Poileedoppola?! Last seen rowing to shore with the Captain, no one has seen or heard from her since, and with St. George in the fading distance, they can only hope she somehow made it back on board…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #8

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

With the intrepid crew back together again, and their sites set on the next port, the scent of optimism almost covered the smell of the leaking bulkhead. So, with a sludgy mix of fuel and oil spilling behind them, and the wonders of the Banana Republic ahead, Captain Chairman Frontle could barely contain his excitement.

Hoping to spread some of his enthusiasm, the good Captain took a break from spinning the wheel at the helm, to organize a fun game of Charades for everyone! Perhaps unfamiliar with how the game is played, the Captain garnered a rather indifferent response to his ability to mime ‘bouncing a ball’ which had already been announced as the answer by Pip, prior to starting. To be fair, Charades is a pretty crappy game anyway.

Following the game, relaxing with his book of exotic cats, the Chairman was disturbed to find his current favorite, the Hammerhead Persian, torn out. Seaman Barry Gouzler, still nursing a broken leg thanks to Pip, and bearing the shredded remnants, explained to Chairman that he found the violated feline in Pip’s quarters. On the Captain’s orders, Barry returned the evidence to Pip, who rather than come forward, stashed the ‘Chat’ered remains in the one place he knew the Captain wouldn’t go…down Madison Montgomery’s cleavage while she was sleeping. Or maybe he just thought, cats love milk.

Dr. Aurora Borealis, feeling her medical practice would benefit from a degree in medicine, continued her web-based education with surprising success, passing her most recent exam with the high mark of ‘winking emoticon’. With access to the ships computer, and personal email accounts, Dr. Aurora took her romantic obsession with Seaman Gouzler to a new level, erasing all incoming messages from Barry’s many wives and families, in an attempt to redirect his affection to her. She couldn’t help but feel the heat bubble over as the two shared a private encounter, as Barry relaxed his injured leg in the hot tub.

Madison Montgomery, following the advice of her on-line therapist, focused more on her own needs for a change. Converting a large portion of the ship to her own private quarters, Ms. Montgomery found the large empty room, ironically unfulfilling, although Pip was impressed it had a Starbucks. Making nice with Pip, Madison felt uplifted and celebrated by getting drunk and coming on to the Captain, who has yet to give in to her sloppy groping.

Mister E. seemed to be everywhere, popping up just in time to gather some rather juicy tid-bits on nearly everyone on board. Conspicuously posing as a statue in the garden, he scared the crap out of Ms. Montgomery. Unable to recall his attempting to murder her, given her boozy state, it seemed all was forgiven, as she passed out comfortably on his crotch. Normally a danger zone for unconscious women, Mister E. proved he had changed, and did not take advantage of the opportunity that had fallen in his lap. He did however steal her cell phone for purposes known only to him.

First mate Pip, shared the Captain’s excitement having CruiseBoat back in order, but still wondered about the unexplained disappearance of Ms. Guya Poileedoppola. Getting no answer from the Captain, he expressed his concern to Mister E. Unfortunately, Pip was unable to follow up on the mysterious whereabouts of Guya, having enjoyed a great number of new flavored jolly-ranchers, not knowing that they were actually prescription doses of Ritalin. His ho-hum attitude, was obvious as he casually mentioned that not only was the Banana Republic not an actual place, but that wherever they were headed, the Captain hadn’t thought to slow the boat down before reaching port. As they brace for a crash landing, a great many questions await to be answered for the passengers and crew of…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #9

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

Leaving what was thought to be the “Banana Republic” in a rather hasty manor, the Captain profusely apologized to the passengers and crew for not only crashing into port on arrival, but also for leading them to an uncharted island inhabited by pirates, in the first place. That was a bad call.

Whether it was the frightening pirate encounter, the hazardous waste leaking from the bulkhead, or the countless other life threatening dangers that had plagued the journey thus far, Captain Frontle was pleased to find that his apology was not necessary, as all of the passengers had decided at some point to take the lifeboats, and abandon ship. But, while some hurried to get off the boat, one guest had finally made it back on.

Ms. Guya Poileedoppola recounted her tale of survival, after being separated from the Captain in St. George, and being taken hostage by the Mexican, fur-trading, pirates of the “Banana Republic”. Realizing Captain Frontle had not been receiving his mail, Guya produced her own ransom note confirming her story. Containing not only her captor’s demands, but also her left eye, which had been gouged out during the ordeal, the Captain found it hard to hold back his anger…and his throw up, as the greeny blue peeper stared back at him.

Mister E. worked on the details of his expensive new one man show, using Madison’s stolen cell phone to request $500,000 from her father, ship owner Mr. Montgomery. While he struggled to memorize the one word of dialogue for the show’s finale, he was surprised by the return of his former stalker Guya. She wasted no time in demanding an explanation for his rumored involvement with Madison Montgomery, and their relationship to the pirates who held her hostage, and used both of their names on more than one occasion. He responded with surprising marriage proposal, which was enthusiastically accepted!

Madison Montgomery, seemed suspiciously unsurprised to discover Guya’s return, and avoided Guya’s probing questions as to her suspected involvement. Instead she diverted the conversation to herself once again, boasting of her new found sobriety, and whining about her lack of friends and missing her daddy. She did seem rather concerned with the ship itself, specifically the damaged bulkhead, which she was informed by Barry, could not be repaired until they reach dry dock, still three weeks away.

Although unable to repair the boat, Seaman Gouzler did help the Captain heal first mate Pip, who was suffering the effects of a nasty Ritalin overdose. After confessing to Ms. Montgomery, that he’d like to ride her like a thanksgiving turkey…or was it donkey…Pip’s downward spiral finally reached rock bottom when the relatively tiny man threw a rather large tantrum, smashing and throwing everything in site like an obnoxious child, who coincidentally, could be prescribed Ritalin for that very behavior. With the help of Barry’s rousing sea shanty, old Pip managed to pull through, and return to his old self just in time to power clean the entire main deck.

Enjoying a snippet of Mr. E’s impressive new show, and a well deserved rest, the intrepid crew gazed at the horizon to their next destination, the Island of Cats. Wondering what lies ahead and hoping to leave what lies behind, a great many questions remain for…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.

Episode #10

THE DRAIN PLUG

Where Scummers can catch what they missed!

You won’t believe what happened on the last CruiseBoat!

Trudging slowly through its own leaking filth, the good ship CruiseBoat remained steadily on course for the “Island of Cats”. As Captain Frontle futilely pushed buttons and spun his oversized wheel, trusty first mate Pipsqueak Lazaruth’s vigilant guidance, kept the wounded vessel on target, as the “directionally unreliable” stars moved through the night sky.

Speaking of seeing stars…with an uncomfortable wince, Pip became the first victim of Dr. Aurora’s new degree in veterinary medicine. Following a very thorough physical exam due to his recent Ritalin overdose, Pip was given a clean bill of health…which ironically left him feeling rather dirty. That feeling would later serve him well, in the quarters of Ms. Montgomery, where his healthy new vigor was put to the test. The fervent squelches of her unique sex noises, echoed through the ship’s hull and into the night air like that of a sludge tanker…being screwed mercilessly.

Returning from a secret mission for Ms. Madison Montgomery, it turned out Pip wasn’t the only thing Dr. Borealis had her hand in. In a candid washroom encounter with Ms. Guya Poileedoppola, Aurora confessed it was she who had paid the kidnapping ransom for Guya’s safe return from the Banana Republic. Though aiding in her return, Ms. Montgomery, as well as cruise entertainer Mr. E, remain suspiciously linked to the harrowing ordeal, which ended in the loss of Guya’s favorite eyeball, and permanent ocular disability...which on the upside will translate to some premo parking spots come shore leave.

Mr. E, knowing a thing or two about dealing with disability, showed his new fiancé Guya, how to turn her pain into pleasure. With a little trick he called, “an eye-socket job”, the two shared an intimate moment while they discussed the details of their impending nuptials. Having already secured Barry as her best man, Guya was disappointed to find Mr. E. less prepared. Mr. E. couldn’t help but display signs of cold feet, as the enthusiastic bride to be pressured him for the specifics of the event. Mr. E. then took some time to focus on his upcoming show, only to find himself locked out of the theatre by the Captain, who was clearly upset as he cancelled the production due to lack of funds.

With a little time to ponder, Captain Frontle curiously speculated about their next destination, and what cats had managed to make of an entire island to themselves. Joining him on deck, Seaman Barry Gouzler took a rare opportunity to bond with the Captain, revealing he had once served with the Captain’s father many years prior. As they reminisced about the good old days, and stared out into the sea of “wet dreams” that lie ahead, Chairman wondered openly if he was respected as captain. Barry lied.

Shortly thereafter, Seaman Gouzler discussed with Ms. Montgomery, the Captain’s ability to command the ship. With a string of poor decisions, putting the crew and passengers in danger, Barry implied that the problems could be solved by having a stronger leader at the helm. Facing a dire financial situation due to the cost of repeatedly filling the leaking bulkhead with oil and fuel, Madison agreed, suggesting Pip as the man for the job, much to Barry’s dismay.

Using classic, fuzzy, “after-sex” judgment, Pip also jumped on-board the mutiny bandwagon, and along with Barry and Madison, coerced Dr. Aurora to sign a document declaring the Captain unfit for duty. The good doctor later expressed her regret for having betrayed the captain, heartily voicing her support for him, while sharply denouncing Ms. Montgomery in an inspiring rant that ended in her resignation as ship physician…or rather, veterinarian.

In an ugly and emotional confrontation, Mr. E, Barry, and Pip, carried out a mutiny. Removing Chairman’s captain hat, Pip relieved Chairman of his command and assumed the role himself. Pip then revealed that it was Barry, who had killed Chairman’s father, and not the half-cat, half-fish creature, the Chairman had long been hunting. And with that, Chairman Frontle was silent…but deadly…wafting his disgust at Pip, as he donned a new casual hat, and left Captain Pip in charge of…

CruiseBoat! Where everything happens, but nothing actually happens.